Monday, 24 August 2015

Having a type



You know how some people say they don’t have a type, but deep down you know they do. I’m one of those people. I swear blind that I don’t have a type but I do. That said, I keep an open mind when it comes to who I’ll date. 

I also have a list of things I’m theoretically looking for in someone and recently I’ve discovered that it doesn’t matter how many ticks I can give a person, if the chemistry isn’t there then it isn’t there. Back in March I started dating someone who I would go on to date for about three months, out of all the things on my list he ticked maybe two things but I liked him. I really liked him. From the moment I laid eyes on him I knew I wanted a second, third, fourth date...but things didn’t work out. We were in different places, he wasn't ready for a relationship (we'll skip over the part where he told me initially that a relationship was what he wanted - a post about listening to your gut it a whole other thing) whereas that's what I wanted. Casual dating isn't for me, I thought I could do it with him but seeing someone once a week when you like them isn't enough for me. 

I was asked recently if I’d date him again if he got his act together (not the person’s exact words) and I gave the answer of “Yes” straight away with no hesitation. I weirdly feel like I'm letting the sisterhood down in admitting this, how sad to be so into a guy that just isn't that into you. We’ve all probably got that one person we’d happily date again though, right? I wouldn't want him to know this, it feels like it would do his ego a world of good but it does nothing for me other than making me feel crap when I think about it. 

At the beginning of August I went on a lovely date with a guy who had more ticks on the list than the last guy, with pretty much all of them ticked. Good looking, well educated, good job, non smoker etc. But after the date I knew I didn’t want to see him again, the chemistry wasn’t there for me. This probably wasn't helped by me thinking about my first date with the last guy mid way through the date with this guy. I feel terrible that I even did that, it wasn't fair on him. The last guy I dated has set the bar as to the feelings I want on a first date, the feelings of being completely comfortable, of wanting to lean across and kiss them, the feeling of the first kiss. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing I’m not sure but I’m not willing to compromise on the feelings I know I can get from a great first date.

Dating is (once again) taking the back seat for me. Maybe a life of lots of greyhounds is my future instead.




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  1. I know all of these issues far too well. I've dated people that tick all the right boxes but there's just no chemistry, and then I've got attached to people who shouldn't remotely really tick any boxes. Dating is horrendous, it's not for me.

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